When Life Changes Unexpectedly: How to Be a Source of Strength for Others.
- Cindy
- Apr 7
- 3 min read
Life is humming along, when suddenly something occurs out of the blue—a relationship ending, a job loss, the death of a loved one. The list goes on and on.
I once had a close friend who lost a loved one unexpectedly. She was devastated and struggling to process what came next. I wanted to help, but I wasn’t sure what to do. So, I simply asked, "How can I best support you during this time?" That one question opened the door for her to share what she needed, and in doing so, I learned that support looks different for everyone.
We often hear that the only thing we can count on is change. That is not always comforting to hear when we are in the thick of it, though!
How then do we focus on supporting and loving others through change? It isn't always easy, nor are we always comfortable with what we can personally do next. One key thing is acceptance—accepting our own gifts and limitations and discerning what we can do and feel comfortable executing, and what we cannot.
We are not all wired the same way. We, ourselves, may have life experiences that hinder us from supporting others in a certain way, but that does not mean we cannot contribute at all. The important thing to accept about ourselves is that we are not responsible for the feelings of others. However, we are called to love one another through the good and bad times—and all the gray in between.
This is part of being in an intimate relationship with others. Accepting that difficult times will happen is the first step in truly being present in meaningful relationships.
Instead of focusing on what we cannot contribute, let’s start thinking about what we do have the talent and gifts to contribute. Below is a set of powerful questions to help guide you in assisting someone going through a hard change—even the hardest of all, the loss of a loved one.
Ways to Offer Support:
What is one way I can help this person right now?
Can I send an encouraging note in the mail?
Am I able to craft a comforting text message?
Do I have the gift of calling them and simply offering a kind word and a listening ear?
How about an in-person visit and a healing hug?
Am I someone who knows my way around the kitchen and could drop off a meal?
Can I watch a furry friend or offer a few hours to help care for the kiddos involved?
Does this person enjoy being active? If so, can I offer to take a walk with them?
Am I someone who can be patient and allow them to process their emotions—without jumping in to tell them how to handle it or offering unsolicited advice?
My personal favorite question to ask is, "How can I best support you during this time?"—then giving the person time to reflect on what might actually help.
There are countless ways to support and love others. We are capable of knowing our own strengths and recognizing that we all have different gifts to offer in times of struggle. Small acts of kindness often end up being the most meaningful and impactful of all.
If this article resonates with you, please share it with others—it may assist someone in need.
Grace to you,
Cindy
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