Ways to Become a Better Listener

Do you ever find yourself listening but not retaining what you hear? Do you want to be present with someone, pay attention to a podcast, or listen to a song, yet your mind or other things distract you from giving your undivided attention? If you answered yes, this article is for you!

Firstly, remember you are not alone. It's natural for our minds to drift off to another thought or become distracted. Allow yourself to acknowledge that your thoughts have drifted and bring them back to the present moment. You are not a failure at listening; you are simply human. If you find yourself beating yourself up over this, STOP! That's the first step to improvement. We cannot make progress by shaming ourselves.

Now, let's hone your listening skills. The key is to be intentional:

1. Ask yourself if this is important to you. If the answer is yes, make a choice to take it seriously and be intentional.

2. Self-reflect and pay attention to the ways you become distracted and/or identify what thoughts are pulling you away from being present when trying to listen. Write down a list.

3. Break down the list and discern if there are any patterns. Is boredom playing a part? Is something weighing on your mind? Is it the sound of notifications? Are you trying to do too many things at once?

4. Once you identify patterns, write down how you can take action to find a solution or make slow progress toward improvement. This may come quickly or take lots of practice.

   
   

For example, if your phone is the distraction and you want to be present for your loved one or friend, leave the phone behind or silence it and turn it face down. The earth will not quit spinning if you are unavailable for 30 minutes (insert your own eyeroll here), but it is TRUE!

Don't try to tackle all the changes at once. Try a couple, change your behavior, and see what happens. If it is effective, wonderful. If not, try something else and remember you are only human. Be kind to yourself as you continue to explore options.

The best part is your awareness and accepting that you may need to improve in this area. That's half the battle. The next part is ACTION. Now begin and enjoy the experience!