Have You Lost a Loved One? Focus on Their Legacy, Lessons, and Blessings
- Cindy
- Jan 3
- 3 min read
I remember the first time I lost a family member. It was my paternal grandma—a lady who, through her example, taught me so much:
How special mornings could be
The importance of writing letters and staying in touch through snail mail
The discipline of writing out checks to pay bills
The art of flower and vegetable gardening—and the importance of pulling weeds
How to be a good neighbor
The joy of baking from scratch
That even a simple boiled chicken can be delicious
And, most importantly, the value of faith in something far greater than myself
The second loss was my father. He was only 67 and battled cancer. From him, I learned:
A strong work ethic
Following through on my promises
Completing what I start
Generosity toward others
A love of nature and animals (especially dogs)
Grace for people with addictions
The fun of motorcycles and ATVs
The rhythm of farm life—getting parts, moving equipment, packing lunches
And the value of faith and a daily devotional routine
My third family loss was my Uncle Ralph. He was such a cheerleader and encourager. From him, I learned:
A love for gardening and nature
The joy of tending a greenhouse
The peace of living by a quiet, small lake
The importance of daily devotions and meditation
Hospitality and creating a welcoming home
That even in my youth, when I felt I had no one else, he and his wife were a safe place
My fourth family loss was my mother. Losing both my father and then my mom left me feeling like an orphan—a feeling so hard to describe. From my mom, I learned:
How to care for seniors and respect my elders
A love for growing flowers and gardening
The satisfaction of planting and harvesting potato crops
The importance of welcoming people into your home—and never letting them leave hungry
The value of cleanliness and taking care of the home entrusted to you
There have been other losses, but these key people were the big ones. Our relationships weren’t always easy, but I always knew I could count on them if I needed them, despite their human weaknesses.
Now, I try to focus on the lessons they taught me (even when those lessons didn’t feel so fun at the time) and how their character shaped me into who I am today. Grief is a struggle bus, but I’m finding that when I focus on remembering the good instead of the hard times and human failings, I can see the blessings they offered me—and how deeply they formed my character.
A gentle encouragement to you today: focus on your loved ones’ strengths and the goodness of their legacy, rather than the sadness of missing their presence. Be grateful for the time you did have with them, not the time missed as they left this world earlier than you would have liked.
Grief is a difficult process, and I’ve walked through enough of it to know how heavy and disorienting it can feel. If you’ve recently lost someone and need a safe place to process your emotions, life coaching can be a supportive way to help you navigate this season.
Losing a loved one brings significant change and transition. Talking with someone who has experienced many losses can offer comfort, understanding, and a judgment‑free space to express what’s on your heart.
If you’d like to set up a complimentary session, feel free to email me at cindy@graceu-lifecoaching.com. And if you’d simply like to continue receiving encouraging blog posts, you can subscribe below.
With grace and gratitude,
Cindy
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